Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
