Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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