you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
