I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize