No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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