Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize