it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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