She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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