I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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