I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
