That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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