Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
