i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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