just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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