I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
