The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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