No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
