I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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