i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
