I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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