member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
