Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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