brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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