oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
