Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
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Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
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All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Randomize