After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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