I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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