this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize