I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
