are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
