hotel room ftw
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
