I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
