someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
hell yes lets make some ravioli
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
