if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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