Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
