The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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