roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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