You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize