You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
