I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
