I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize