he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
