Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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