Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off

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  (818): Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off http://tfl.nu/wsi1
  Replies (8) Good night (3138) Bad night (562)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.

  (317): View more from Indiana

  And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt

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  (317): I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening. (317): And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt http://tfl.nu/9n2q
  Replies (13) Good night (2066) Bad night (508)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am

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  (515): if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am http://tfl.nu/tchg
  Replies (6) Good night (3099) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick

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  (631): I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick http://tfl.nu/3foz
  Replies (25) Good night (712) Bad night (4078)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.

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  (616): The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes. http://tfl.nu/pvjr
  Replies (43) Good night (3358) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?

  (567): View more from Ohio

  EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.

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  (419): do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water? (567): EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now. http://tfl.nu/1pyg
  Replies (47) Good night (764) Bad night (5681)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.

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  (917): It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all. http://tfl.nu/vnnk
  Replies (11) Good night (3081) Bad night (1412)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.

  (315): View more from New York

  hahahaha slap the bag.

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  (315): mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table. (315): hahahaha slap the bag. http://tfl.nu/tktw
  Replies (2) Good night (1480) Bad night (703)
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  (529): View more from

  Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.

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  (529): Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble. http://tfl.nu/he57
  Replies (10) Good night (633) Bad night (1558)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  "Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.

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  (845): "Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life. http://tfl.nu/f41e
  Replies (3) Good night (571) Bad night (1052)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.

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  (206): Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago. http://tfl.nu/wvly
  Replies (4) Good night (1660) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.

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  (301): Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level. http://tfl.nu/wvpb
  Replies (3) Good night (1031) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.

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  (+44): It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex. http://tfl.nu/wykh
  Replies (4) Good night (1315) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close

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  (901): How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close http://tfl.nu/pa4w
  Replies (7) Good night (523) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.

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  (973): You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch". (908): That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch. http://tfl.nu/oi97
  Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (287)

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