Texts From Last Night

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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.

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  (318): I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry. http://tfl.nu/98cc
  Replies (9) Good night (6277) Bad night (1466)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up

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  (262): The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up http://tfl.nu/qgka
  Replies (8) Good night (1007) Bad night (3464)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"

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  (772): I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up" http://tfl.nu/z0ws
  Replies (12) Good night (2212) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.

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  (757): We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out. http://tfl.nu/e9z5
  Replies (4) Good night (1215) Bad night (3671)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us

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  (214): Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us http://tfl.nu/gb64
  Replies (13) Good night (1496) Bad night (2942)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston

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  (407): Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston http://tfl.nu/rb3u
  Replies (5) Good night (2100) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.

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  (312): I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy. http://tfl.nu/9mbp
  Replies (5) Good night (737) Bad night (2320)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night

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  (253): Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night http://tfl.nu/3m0v
  Replies (4) Good night (1120) Bad night (952)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex

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  (203): I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex http://tfl.nu/1qp3
  Replies (5) Good night (1745) Bad night (552)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.

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  (206): If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral. http://tfl.nu/sboa
  Replies (15) Good night (1697) Bad night (473)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?

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  (319): I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg? http://tfl.nu/atqw
  Replies (5) Good night (896) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too

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  (317): I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too http://tfl.nu/ini4
  Replies (11) Good night (643) Bad night (1390)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.

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  (859): I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything. http://tfl.nu/z1ef
  Replies (2) Good night (844) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first

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  (307): Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first http://tfl.nu/80vm
  Replies (3) Good night (645) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.

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  (313): I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION. http://tfl.nu/w75i
  Replies (8) Good night (585) Bad night (306)

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