it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.