Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink