Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up