I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
