It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
