the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
