They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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