Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
