I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
