We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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