Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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