I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
