we made out on top of his cat.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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